Tuesday, October 2, 2012


If things weren't completely out of my comfort zone enough, I have moved.  The movers came last week and moved all of the furniture to the new house, thankfully only about a mile away.  So glad it's a one story and no more stairs to deal with.  I did not have the energy to pack a lot of things by the time moving day arrived so they also packed for me.  I was lucky to have already made up labels for each room so I tagged the boxes as they filled them but as for the contents, I have no idea.

We hired a group of guys, displaced construction workers from Hawaii who own their own business now.  They came prepared with shrink wrap, moving blankets, and dollies.  We just had to rent the truck.  We were fortunate not to have an option to get a smaller one, we made the move in one trip.  I like giving work to deserving people.  I sing the praises of Big Boys Moving Labor.  Message me and I will give you their number if you are local to Las Vegas.   You also get what you pay for.  They worked for almost 6 hours like slave labor, always laughing, never complaining or judgmental.  And yes, we bought them lunch, tipped them big and bought them beer at the end of the day.  Only one drank anyway and that is only during Monday night Football so he was really stoked.  So what am I in such upheaval about?  They moved the boxes and just put them anywhere in the house.  Not in the rooms they were labeled for mind you, just in the house.  There are heavy boxes I will never be able to lift all over the place.  What didn't fit in the garage or in the den, just went anywhere - and they are everywhere.  If I didn't have the energy to pack, I certainly don't have it to lift boxes to find other boxes, move furniture or unpack.  Fortunately, we moved things by carloads prior to them coming for the furniture so I am able to shower and know where my clothes are.  I was able to do all of this around my radiation schedule.  There's nothing like being in total chaos and not able to get off the couch to do a thing about it.  At least the couch was empty so I could use it and I had cable so I could watch my beloved Masterpiece Theatre or HGTV and drool over the Property Brothers.  (Counting each and every blessing here!)

Going through radiation is difficult to say the least but being without internet is just like enduring another symptom.  I must have moved to a location where the cell tower has a weak signal and my phone would either not connect or have horrible service.  I was talking to people where entire parts of conversations were missing.  I had received a new phone and an iPad for my birthday last month and found I could connect sporadically but was not able to reply to anyone.  The house is just about a minute from closing so they are asking us to sign and return every document we ever signed previously but I have no way to scan and send it back.  Had to drive over to locations all over town to do that, meet their demands and get back to that empty couch in the middle of chaos.

I've heard from a few people who are warriors with me that their internal treatments went far worse than mine.  They have endured horrific repercussions from the radiation that fried their insides, outsides, and still suffer symptoms long after the ordeal.  They assure me that I will get through this, I have no doubt, I made it through the death of my son.  Sadly, that experience will leave me with symptoms and scars the rest of my life also that doesn't even compare.  I feel lucky as I count my blessings that I have endured so much, the worst is almost behind me and that I have the time off to heal albeit not without stress.  Today is my husband's birthday.  I want to treat him like a king to let him know how much I appreciate him quietly enduring all of my misfortune but I have missed the mark.  The sale of the house, timing of my paycheck, the hectic schedule of the move in between radiation appointments have left him in second, possibly third or fourth place.  I am filled with emotion and want to cry as I feel my efforts are inadequate to show him how much he means to me at this time and my last minute plans are not enough.  I always read articles that mention the caregivers who are constantly and continuously there for the ones who fight.  They are the ones closest to you going through it, feeling it blow by blow.  Cancer affects everyone who loves you and cares for you.  I got mad love for all of you who continually pray and send me healing thoughts.  I have huge gratitude for you rallying around me in another difficult time in my life and will forever be in your debt.


  1. I wish I could be there to lift your boxes for you! Hugs!

  2. Missing your email, updates, texts or voice on the phone. Wonderful news you sent, the move, no internet or t.v. (Ha ha, we get that a lot when the weather here knocks it out!) But wanted you to know we love you, think about you often and still keep you in our prayers!