Thursday, August 30, 2012

When it Rains it Pours

It's almost the end of August.  I have had another two radiation sessions.  Every other week on Tuesdays, I have to go into Sunrise Hospital and see my radiologist for a check-up.  My stomach is so upset I am not even sure if I can make it to his office without stopping at every McDonald's along the way for a pit stop.  I make it in, they put me in a room but my stomach won't wait.  I dash across the hall.  The nurse comes in to tell me he is going to want to do a pelvic exam.   I tell her this is not a good day but we can try.  The doctor comes in and we talk about my progress.  I ask him if he can hear my stomach gurgling from where he is standing and he says yes.  I have been complaining about this for some time but they said to just take massive amounts of Immodium and I'll be fine.  I told him I've already taken 3 this morning and nothing is stopping it.  He finally says he is going to write a prescription for me.  Finally - relief is on the way!

He sits down with the miner's hat with the light on and takes a look.  He tells me that the second tumor is still gone and that the first is now the size of the head of a matchstick.  What great news.  He tells me to get dressed and comes back in the room.   "Just want to let you know that you have still one month to go.  You'll get 3 days off with the Labor Day holiday, then only four more external treatments left.  Then we will start the internal treatments."   My heart just sinks.  I don't want another day of radiation.  I know it's for my own good and for my future health but I just feel I can't take any more.  Enough with the non-stop annoying symptoms tearing at my positive attitude. We talk a bit about it and he says that it would be best if when we get to the internal treatments to take the time off from work, the less stress the better.  I explain to him that in the mix of all of this, I have gotten approval for the short sale on my house and I am going to have to be out of my house by the end of September.  How am I ever going to find the energy to be able to pack up my house and get it ready for the new owners?  I find a solution for one problem only to find another challenge. 

My friend Susan recently sent me a private message and I am going to use her words just to keep me going:
"It seems like perfect symmetry; the end of radiation and the move to a new home (beginning). One day at a time."  She's right.  Still, there is one more month to go and it will be the hardest challenge yet.


  1. Miss Anna....
    I love love love your blog. It's beautiful! Keep writing each day--it's good for your heart, soul, and vagina. :-) You will get through this, I promise, but let the doctor know you are running the show. If you need a break from the internal or external radiation, take a break. You are in charge of your body! Hang in there each day and keep moving forward. You are a Shining Star Miss Anna!!!
    Jane :-)

  2. Thank you for your constant words of encouragement. I'm hanging tough, trying to stand as much as I can so I can get through this chapter in my life and start living it again with life, love and laughter. Appreciate you and all of my loved ones rooting for me to take charge and kick cancer into oblivion. Much love, ~Anna